| smiling swine. |
[Jan. 18th, 2008|12:52 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | the dear hunter. | ] |
But all the while,
She was still fresh in my mind,
And though this might be premature,
But ambition strikes just when the mood is right,
The mood is right.
Now all the while, now all the while,
She is still stuck in my mind, she's stuck in my mind,
And though it might sound premature,
But ambition strikes me when the mood is right.
The mood is right.
And the mood is right.
The mood is right. |
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| somewhere only we know |
[Jan. 17th, 2008|01:10 am] |
the next few months promise to be very scary in an exciting kind of way. so many things happening i can't wait to see where this path leads me.
it ain't hard to hope when it shines like gold you'll remember me. |
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| where i want to be. |
[Dec. 18th, 2007|12:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | music |
| | carly comando - everyday. | ] |
the past 2 months have been an amazing close to this up and down year. there are all these aspects of my life that i am so happy with right now whether its my personal life, music, family, etc. i don't care if it sounds cheezeball but this is where i want to be and so many things are moving in directions that make me optimistic. who knows how things will pan out but for right now i am extremely happy and i take solace in that fact. |
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| work. |
[Aug. 21st, 2007|10:54 pm] |
so after 3 months of sitting in limbo and playing lots of video games at home i'm returning to microsoft later this week. it should be nice as i've slowly watched my bank account fizzle down, and if all goes well i'll be working on an amazing game, crossing my fingers.
warped tour was fucking amazing. 1000X times better than last year without a doubt. catered food, cool people, free beers, band bbq. so legit. |
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| word |
[Jun. 23rd, 2007|02:22 am] |
|
so i'm not working anymore. i'm kind of enjoying this down time and not having a job. plus it's nice to actually have a social life again, i finally have time to hang out with tons of the people who i've been missing for the past billion months. get at me if you want to kick it, i've got all the time in the world. |
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| lost |
[May. 24th, 2007|10:33 am] |
wow, lost was just omg... simple fucking amazing.
probably the best two hours of television i've ever watched holy fucking shit, anyone who gave up on the show fucking missed out, wow. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 15th, 2007|05:01 pm] |
|
today was my last day at microsoft, what a good feeling to know that i don't have to wake up tomorrow at 7am and go to a job, yay! it'll be a much needed break and i'm really looking forward to it and having time to see lots of friends that i haven't seen in FOREVER. |
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| blah. |
[Mar. 18th, 2007|03:57 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the song inside my head. | ] |
I am the wind, singing a sad song. I am a volcano, and I'll hurt you all. |
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| yeah |
[Feb. 3rd, 2007|12:31 am] |
|
work is good, things are good, i am optimistically hopeful for some current things. :-) |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 4th, 2006|12:08 am] |
|
i saw the most beautiful girl behind me in traffic on the way to work the other day, i somehow memorized her license plate. perhaps i'll find her someday and eat her heart. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 29th, 2006|02:16 am] |
tonight, was FUCKED UP fer sure, god damn.
on a side note, this feeling is still the same, i want to meet a girl who is completely opposite of everything that i'm experiencing right now, tired of this same old shit and same old situations. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 18th, 2006|05:17 am] |
|
i want to devote myself to a beautiful girl. i want to put myself into a beautiful girl. where are you beautiful girl? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 26th, 2006|03:33 am] |
we're no good, so baby lets make nice
no more lovin' and no more fights
where do you make your bed these days?
where do you call home?
i'm leaving soon
i thought it best for you to know
----------------------------------
baby, the suns gone down on my love
i'm leaving this "home" for bluer skies
cause i can't go on another single day
while my heart and my head have parted ways
i've wasted so many days, and oh so many nights
trying hard not to pick up the phone
you always wanted all those things,
oh you wanted me to change
but i just wanted to be left alone
so make me an offer
i cannot imagine
make me an offer
fit for a king
you tried to be something
you couldn't conceive of
i hope its lonely where you grieve. |
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| theory. |
[Sep. 17th, 2006|02:31 am] |
|
i need to start studying theory again, i want to be sooooooo much better at guitar than i am. i'm not even close to maximizing what my current potential is, time to knuckle down, holla. |
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| stuff. |
[Aug. 21st, 2006|03:30 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Kay Kay and The Weathered Underground. | ] |
our life exists metaphysically in the state of a room. a singular window gazes off into the horizon, a symbol perpetually signifiying something far off and greater. a symbol so insignifcant and trite within itself. only when we have ascertained a greater understanding of ourselves and humanity as a whole. are we allowed to rise from our place of rest and open the window to a world inwhich we already know.
you see, for this world is one of perceptions and choices that have already been made. whilst people look outside of themselves for answers, in the end we find that everything that is possible exists merely as a door which can only be unlocked from within oneself, by the two strongest muscles one can possess... the heart and the mind.
once we are free then it is possible for one to harness the true raw power of the energy force of love, of which we are all interconnected. everything in this "life" is connected by a symbiotic bond inwhich we share, we are all made up of the same energy, and when the inevitable death comes we are redistributed into this stream of energy, this stream of life, if you will. |
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|
| Microsoft. |
[Aug. 19th, 2006|03:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Shock 3 - Warren C | ] |
I started my new job at Microsoft this week and I fucking love it. It's by far the best, easiest, funnest, most laid back job I have ever had and I could seriously do this for almost ever. That's how much I am enjoying it, although perhaps my tune will change a month from now.
I've had alot of down time lately and I've been trying to get my feet on the ground and reevaluate alot of things in my life like who I am right now where, where I'm going and what I want for myself. I can really see alot of big changes coming in the next 6 months or so I just don't really know in which way things will go. I just know that it's time to change and take back control of my life.
I've been lonely lately. I have my friends and they're some of the most amazing people in the world but I just miss the companionship of having someone to talk to and miss and stuff like that. It's been awhile since I've had a girlfriend, I guess I probably just miss some of the stuff that comes with it. Who knows, life has a way of working itself out for now I'll just try and enjoy the ride. |
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| birthday. |
[Jul. 17th, 2006|12:51 pm] |
Today is my birthday and I am 21, yay!
two strangers sitting in a coffee shop
sitting awkwardly alone
in the scent and the silence.
they share a dance of darting eyes
and nervous lips
sipping from heavy mugs
adjusting shirt collars and straightening hair.
a candle burns in the center of each table
adding the glow of false intimacy
as they rustle their newspapers
like Sunday breakfast.
a woman uncrosses her legs
then crosses them again, but differently
she returns to her coffee
with an air of confidence that falters
each time she puts down her mug.
a man clears his throat
and blushes at the sound
because it echoes in the almost empty café.
he’ll clean his glasses
and read his paper
until every words has been consumed.
then the tired barista will smoke another cigarette
and wipe down the tables.
The liquid from her tightly clutched paper cup was received gratefully by two wind-crisped lips on merit of its temperature, not its taste. Even her fingers loved the coffee, its radiating warmth a welcome contrast to their chilled, ridged surfaces. She thumped a foot awkwardly against a skewed table leg, focusing her narrowed eyes on tiny ripples fracturing the glossy black surface below the steam in her cup: shiny, intricate and perfect. Observing each rhythmic wave with eyes incapable of capturing the fleeting details brought by each thump, she wished that with a blink or perhaps a stretching of her eyelids she could freeze the little black pond mid-motion. She'd be preserving, however momentarily, what she'd only been able to glimpse.
She recalled evenings in a fluorescent kitchen, cool night air sifting through cracked brown shades bound by fraying yarn. To her, the dull, chirping wheeethat accompanied the muffled breeze was a product of night itself, not the elusive winged creatures with squat bodies and long legs. She had spent hours with eyes determinedly squished shut, propelling her small child's frame from the yellow tile floor. She had been trying to capture the feeling of being mid-air. Think NOW, she'd coax herself, but the words would be passing after she'd already returned to the ground. It had been a childish game, but clearly one she wasn't finished playing.
Shifting her intent gaze back to the well-worn and busy pages of an open notebook in front of her, she pushed her thoughts away from the memories clicking behind her forehead in snippets, tidbits, chewed and mottled chunks with no progression or sense of reality. Scribbled characters, ink scrapes and swirls melted and shifted on the splayed pages in front of her before snapping back into a blocky focus. She wanted to write but someone kept kicking her table. Glancing beneath the table's wobbly wooden surface she realized that she kept kicking her table. Stop it, she told her foot, which was clad in a dirty black shoe. Her toes smiled defiantly beneath the leather and continued to kick with measured persistence.
Faking a yawn, she lifted her eyes in time for them to meet an artfully slanted and deceivingly awkward frame, one she recognized before seeing its attached head. The approaching body's movements were not necessarily smooth; she could easily envision its limbs entangled in a heap of flesh on the floor. But even such a faux pas would surely appear plotted, part of some arrogant European scheme to entice and enchant onlookers. She envisioned the body rising slowly from its intentional mishap, adjusting matching layers of denim and carefully mussed tufts of hair, smiling shyly and raising dark eyebrows at her. She jutted the corners of her mouth up in an instinctive half-smile at the approaching form, aimed specifically at its head. Cursing herself silently for the dispensation of an unwarranted kindness, she twisted the smile and made it wry with a well-practiced arch of an eyebrow. The head's own features appeared to wobble in hesitation before its own lips spread in an attempt to entice. As the form whooshed past her in her lowered chair, the head's eyes rolled downward and studied her form.
Immediately encased in her own arms, brow now collapsed and tightly creased, she sipped her coffee and let her foot resume its drawl. Focused intently on the swirls, rings, patterns in her cup, she wanted to feel as innocent as she had leaping from the floor. |
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| bums and crackheads everywhere. |
[Jul. 11th, 2006|09:27 pm] |
I am in Los Angeles right now and it's a very strange city indeed. We just got back from eating at a local pizza joint down the street, it was delicious the best bbq chicken pizza i've had in awhile. The only downer was that every like 2 minutes a crackhead would walk by an beg for change which gets fucking annoying quick.
Our last few dates before warped tour fell through so we are going to be driving home over the next 2 days to and then playing warped tour. I'm not exactly looking forward to the 18 hour drive but it'll be nice to sleep in my bed for a night before warped. I'm stoked too cause i've never been before so it'll be a good expierience. San Diego was last night and that was rad, got to see tons of friends I hadn't seen in awhile and it was gnarly. I'm stoked to get home and kick it with my buddies though.
I turn 21 on monday so if anyone wants to be involved in the festivities then you should drop me a comment. Or if you just want to hang out then let me know cause that'd be spectacular as well. |
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